Ricky
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?

Tony
Oh,hi Rod!

Ricky
Hi Nicky.

Tony
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

Ricky
That's very interesting.

Tony
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!

Ricky
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?

Tony
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod...

Ricky
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.

Tony
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

Ricky
I don't want to talk about it,
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!

Tony
Yeah, but...

Ricky
OVER!!!

Tony
Well, okay, but just so you know —
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

Ricky
Tony, please!
I am trying to read....
What?!

Tony
IF YOU WERE QUEER

Ricky
Ah, Nicky!

Tony
I'D STILL BE HERE,

Ricky
nicky I'm trying to read this book.

Tony
YEAR AFTER YEAR

Ricky
TONY,!

Tony
BECAUSE YOU'RE (not)DEAR
TO ME,

Ricky
Argh!

Tony
AND I KNOW THAT YOU

Ricky
What?

Tony
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

Ricky
I would?

Tony
(no)IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
BUT I'M NOT GAY.
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

Ricky
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

Tony
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?

Ricky
Tony, that's GROSS!

Tony
(yes yes it is)No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

Ricky
I am not listening!

Tony
AND HERE I'D STAY,

Ricky
La la la la la!

Tony
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.

ricky
Aaaah!

Tony
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!

Ricky
BUT I'M NOT GAY!

Tony
If you were gay.

Ricky
Argh!

~~~~~~~~~
I AM NOT GAY and neither is Ricky i was bugging him one day while he was reading DUMA KEY-Bye Stephen King and we ended up singing this Nexy will be me and Ashley about how we sang "by the sea"